Poem: Missing you

My fairytale; fantasy of a kind

The one that never leaves your mind

You trust what you can’t see

You just close your eyes and let it be

I feel you; I need you

Feeling sexy; close your eyes

I am your playmate

Let your expectations fade

I am your favoriate memory

Your fantasy; remember me

You give permission for me to let go

I am your everything

Use your imagination

I am connected; I am affected

I am on fire; take me in

Make me louder; take me higher

Professing my voice; separating the noise

Because I made my choice

Missing you

Where is my heaven

Fragile part of me

I want you

Oh baby you set me free

My MD; revive me

Until then I imagine

My happy ever after

My fairytale; Love of a kind

The one you trust even if blind

Celeste <3

New Song Center

~I am so honored and humbled to be part of such a wonderful organization. I am a children's  facilitator for the New Song program which is funded by Hospice of the Valley. I am also part of the Speakers Buearu The program is designed to support families and their children that have lost a loved one.The facilitation occurs in age groups: little's, middles, tweens, teens, and adults. We had an amazing year where I witnessed kids go through grief...Sigh! Sometimes while facilitating in my tween group I felt they were teaching more about the beauty of grief, love, and life! Loss is such a big part of life that often times we are never given the tools to learn to cope and make these experiences part of us, especially when we are young! These children touch my heart and it is my passion to continue to do this type of work! Our last meeting as an activity we all planted flowers in our own pots to symbolize our loved ones that had passed on...we talked about the soil, the growth, the fertilizer and how even though we go through grief we grow so much and life supports us always! My pot was for my mother and my doggie Stimpy! They both have left so much in me and I remember them with LOVE! The program is free and it is a great resource for families that are going through this devastating process! So spread the word if families are in need! 

Domestic War?

"In the process of my evolution, I became a victim of domestic war, an emotional casualty for a major portion of my life, entwined, entrapped and emotionally involved, until I learned how to become free".~Sara Niles

~In the United States, More than 1.1 million or 7% of women and 720,000 or 4% of men have been victims of some kind of domestic abuse in the past year, official crime figures reveal. All over the world acts of violence within a family unit occur out of the referenced statistics, there are many that are not reported as speaking out comes with shame, guilt, remorse, and fear. I was recently in a gathering and a very eloquent speaker was talking about abuse, out of the 13 participants in the room of women all but one had experienced some form of sexual, physical, mental, or emotional abuse in their childhood and after. Sigh! Speaking out about abusive experiences takes a lot of courage, as the most darkest times of your shattered life become transparent to opinion, ridicule, or even judgement. It is important that we continue to speak up about these horrific experiences and begin to educate victims on the vicious cycle that entraps them. We all have emotional battles, scars, and trials in our lives...the difference is that when another person inflicts power over and hurts you through acts of violence it is not 'normal' anymore. It becomes a jailhouse! Life becomes all about survival, all about protection, all about coping! The greatest emotional damage is that the individuals that take advantage of you say they love you! They wear you down! You begin to adapt, you begin to believe you are not worthy, you begin to disconnect, you begin to lose what it meant to be free. The victimization becomes a reality! The wounds run deep and the healing takes time, commitment, and work! Becoming a survivor, taking off the shackles of abuse has also been my story...a very traumatic journey that taught me so much! The most important thing has been compassion, mostly for myself! And even though circumstance made us victims, it is important to empower our thinking and know that we survived and stretched to stop the abuse within ourselves even after the fact! Any individual going through these situations, you are not alone! There are resources and help! Lift the veil of fear and Speak up!!! The cycle ends with you!!!

She was a shell

Empty and alone

Where could she go?

Who could she tell?

Was easier to stay

To accept defeat

Everyone told her

That's the way it should be.

They all looked away

and left her alone

they turned their heads

to any broken bones

They told her to be strong

for that was the plan

Her only goal

should be to please her man

She did her best

She gave it her all

When asked "What happened?"

She said

"Oh, Just a fall"

Years went by

she learned to adapt

she learned how not

to make him mad

She learned how to please

Just what to say

She learned to make sure

HE had a good day

Those looking on could not see?

Would not see?

The pain that was so deep inside of me

Was it easier to just look away?

Distance and time

closed for me

there was a hand that

could be reached

A hand with a face

from the past

A hand that only for a

short time would last

I held on to that hand

with all my might

I pulled myself up

I learned how to fight

A year has past

And now I see

just how wonderful

life should be

Written in celebration of my freedom

Dedicated to the face from the past,

✿ܓUnknown, Survivor

Love in Action....Mindfullness in relationships

"An alive relationship is always changing. It has many climates, many moods. It has many surprises. A dead relationship remains stagnant. It is repetitive, it is the same, but then it is no more a relationship. Then you are not two persons, you are two things together. Of course two things never quarrel. The quarrel arises when two persons enter" ~Osho 

~In all of our intimate ventures we are all looking to be valued, loved, and appreciated. Having someone that makes you feel good, someone that you relate too, someone you can trust, someone that you can be yourself with etc..When we are in a relationship with another person, we energetically connect to them, our chakras get connected. In my personal journey of relationships: I have been in dead, abusive, one sided, and co-dependent relationships. All of them were fear based, there was no love in action or live pulse to them. I was repeating my own personal dysfunctional patterns within them, it was a constant stagnation that did not bring any life or action, it was the same quarrel all the time, so it got old, because it was the same story. Quarrel is not bad when it is challenging and inspires growth and sometimes needed help the relationship evolve. When I would attempt to show up to the quarrel it would escalate to fear, but  that was me wanting to step out of the stagnation and looking for change? As children we learn how to show up in relationships, we learn how to survive, how to connect, how to disconnect, how to love, how to be treated etc..As we continue to grow and develop we begin to put our perception of relationships into practice, some of us continue to go through this cycles all our lives, some of us decide that we want change and don't settle for dead relationships. And acknowledge that to keep a relationship alive it needs to continue to change. We begin to observe our own patterns? Learn and value what we offer? And encourage others to do the same within the relationship! Love in action is all about participation! Being love within a dyad and being love in autonomy as well! Love is the greatest motivation and healer of all times! It is the infinite feeling that keeps you connected and committed to yourself and to a relationship. The only constant is change, but it takes a lot of courage to look at ourselves and reflect on how we show up in relationships because its not pretty at times! You grieve, you forgive, you feel lost? But your anchor is love! The distractions we create to keep ourselves from undoing our own lies are the things that keep us in dysfunction! To be alive in love, risks have to be taken, fears have to be conquered, grief has to be felt! That is the only way we can be able to live a full life! Feeling every experience to our core and being able to Learn, Observe, Value, and Encourage!!! Love in action is nothing more than daily self commitment! Action is not always in the doing? It is in the way we approach things? The way we follow through and the way we move forward still participating with our hearts wide open! 

Keep your heart open, your love alive, and your life in motion!!!! The way we relate to others will shift! Just see it happen...

Surrender...

"Man has nothing else to do but to surrender in deep trust, in deep love. Don't be a doer, just surrender. Let there be a let go"

~Letting go is a word that is often used in reference to moving on from someone or something. As human beings we all experience resistance to change and always want or desire something different of what is being offered to us at the present moment by life. So many emotions come to play when we are at the fork on the road to transformation. Surrender does not mean giving up, it means to yield, accept and trust that things are in flux that the intersection is exactly what is needed to enable to you to continue to move forward instead of staying stuck, and welcome unnecessary suffering. We are all offered many opportunities of surrender and often ignore and resist until we find ourselves on our knees by carrying the heavy load. Being clear and accepting reality is sometimes harsh, but it is our only way of committing to the next step. My favorite spiritual coach that I admire dearly Iyanla Vanzant, states that the triple A's will allow you to move through things. Acceptance, Acknowledgement, and Awareness. When we accept the change, we Acknowledge that things will never be the same, we become Aware that life has its ebbs and flows and that holding on to ideas or stories that hinder our lives. The true art of letting go is about commitment! Whether the choice is perceived to be good or bad, committing to it is where you learn to trust yourself. In the practice of yoga, when we commit to a pose as hard or unaligned as it might be at the moment, we commit to it with breath and ease, the more we practice, the more the body will naturally go back to its normal state, but if we are continually telling ourselves you can't do it, this pose is not for you, you aren't flexible enough etc..how will you ever learn to go through the process? You have to trust and let go!!! Breathe and let it be...We don't have to continue to do to feel worthy of our choices, letting go is not the lazy way out, it is way we become accountable and begin a new way of giving and receiving. We restore balance within ourselves! Listening when it is time to let go vs creating chaos in our lives....

She wolf....Auuuuuuu! Woman and wolves

~A healthy woman is much like a wolf, strong life force, life-giving, territorily aware, intuitive and loyal. Yet separation from her wildish nature causes a woman to become meager, anxious, and fearful. The wild nature carries the medicine for all things. She carries stories, dreams, words and songs. She carries everything a woman needs to be and know. She is the essence of the female soul…With the wild nature as ally and teacher, we see not through two eyes only, but through the many eyes of intuition. With intuition we are like the starry night, we gaze at the It does not mean to lose one’s primary socialization. It means quite the opposite. The wild nature has a vast integrity to it. It means to establish territory, to find one’s pack, to be in one’s body with certainty and pride, to speak and act in one’s behalf, to be aware, to draw on the innate feminine powers of intuition, to find what one belongs to, to rise with dignity, to proceed as a powerful being who is friendly but never tame.

The Wild Woman is the one who thunders in the face of injustice. She is the one we leave home to look for and the one we come home to. She is the one who keeps a woman going when she thinks she’s done for. She is intuition, far-seer, deep listener, and she is loyal heart. She thrives on fresh site and self-integrity.So she must strut the old pathways, assert her instinctual knowledge, proudly bear the battle scars of her time, write her secrets on walls, refused to be ashamed, lead the way through and out, be cunning and use her feminine wits.

Where can you find her? She walks in the deserts, cities, woods, oceans, and in the mountain of solitude. She lives in women everywhere; in castles with queens, in the boardrooms, in the penthouse, and on the night bus to Brownsville.She lives in a faraway place that breaks through to our world. She lives in the past and is summoned by us. She is in the present. She is in the future and walks backward in time to find us now.Wild woman whispers the words and the ways to us, and we follow. She has been running and stopping and waiting to see if we are catching up. She has many things to show us.Whether you are possessed of a simple heart or the ambitious, whether you are trying to make it to the top or just make it through tomorrow, the wild nature belongs to you. Don’t be a fool. Go back and stand under that one red flower and walk straight ahead for that last hard mile. Go up and knock on the old weathered door. Climb up to the cave. Crawl through the window of a dream. Sift the desert and see what you find. It is the only work we have to do.

Without us, Wild Woman dies. Without Wild Woman, we die. Para Vida, for true life, both must live.

✿ܓUnknown

Poem: All I wanted

Basic; simple; honest

Eyes to see the brightest

Desired the highest

All I wanted was to share

Hoped that my love you would bear

Fell in love with our fears

Ended up with tears

All I wanted was to be inspired

In your arms continue to perspire

Tell me where did it go wrong?

We waited so long; we got along

I miss my friend; will things ever be the same

In life you can’t press rewind

We left each other behind

All I ever wanted was your love

The kind we would always speak of

My heart beats for yours and it implores

Trust issues you said; non-existent when we lay

 A distant wish; I want you lips to kiss

Though I know that we will miss

The soul connection; the physical affection

All I wanted is gone

Yet we are still drawn

To the spark that initially let us on

Is there another round to share?

Are we willing to go there?

In my flow; you still make me glow

All I ever wanted is you

Yet you were too coward to see it through

Celeste <3

Poem: Moving forward

Moving forward

Feeling naive

Always do the same

Live to believe

Sweet words

Charming witt

How can I not commit

Disillusion

To something that is not yet written

How to proceed

To things you only perceive

How to flow

I just don’t know

Uncertain

Because I walk alone

Leave it 

And believe that it will return

Naïve am I

But I will let this one pass me by

Moving backwards

Can’t wait

Have to deny

What feels so good inside

Not the time

Desolate

Waiting for the sign

Revealed

The purpose that helps me align

The gift

At the end we are all ONE

Celeste <3

Elements of Romance

"The life and love we create is the life and love we live." - Leo F. Buscaglia

~Most people know that I am a hopeless romantic. I choose to be in love with something everyday :) I look for inspiration in everything and anything LOL...This is me! which leads me to share three "elements" that were shared with me regarding romance. Breath of life, which is our health and essence, Fire of life, which is our vitality (life force energy), and Water of life, which is the flow and function of ourselves. The dictionary meaning of romance states: a love affair, Ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people; love; A mysterious or fascinating quality or appeal, as of something adventurous, heroic, or strangely beautiful. Ardent emotional attachment or a mysterious quality or appeal? My favorite parts of the definition by far.

As far as the elements:  Breath of life, which is what we contribute to a relationship our emotional, physical, mental health and our true nature of who we are with our gifts and flaws. The symbolic way of how we truly breathe in life, what meaning we give to it, and how we see ourselves. This element is the foundation of all relationships as it is important to have transparency, honesty, and integrity. Most people often lie or deceive others of who they are or on how they breathe life due to unresolved emotional health issues or mental ideas that have created a story that the self has believed. Sigh...Breathing in life is how we keep our hearts and feelings alive! Very important when creating romance with another person.

Fire of life, which is one of my favorites!!! Our sexual and creative energy the passion within us that gives our lives purpose. The fierce fire that keeps us moving, the fire that allows us to dive in all emotions and experience the depths of life! The inner drive that motivates us, the creative juices that run through are bodies to continue to create and build joy, pleasure, and abundance in our life.

Water of life, the flow, how we interact with others within the relationship, how we react, how we reflect our internal world outwardly. Trusting the process and allowing things flow naturally in relationships is not an easy task as manipulation and control always comes into play. There are always perceptions of what roles individuals 'should' be playing or doing? This is where being authentic is vital, showing who you are and making the choice to accept yourself and others as you relate and grow. It is important to honor yourself every step of the way. That's how we learn how to function, trust and embrace who we are.

Self affirm, self sustain, self assure

Awareness

~One of my most cherished teacher, mentor and an extraordinary Healer, John Schultz said to me once, "Its just information and an opportunity to become more self aware"~

"This pain is not to make you sad, remember. That's where people go on missing...This pain is just to make you more alert--because people become alert only when the arrow goes deep into their heart and wounds them. Otherwise they don't become alert. When life is easy, comfortable, convenient, who cares? Who bothers to become alert? When a friend dies, there is a possibility. When your woman leaves you alone--those dark nights, you are lonely. You have loved that woman so much and you have staked all, and then suddenly one day she is gone. Crying in your loneliness, those are the occasions when, if you use them, you can become aware. The arrow is hurting: it can be used. The pain is not to make you miserable,the pain is to make you more aware! And when you are aware, misery disappears" ~Osho

~In my personal practice of life, every experience continues to deepen my awareness of myself and how I relate to others. Sigh...In the wisdom of self awareness the energy we continue to obstruct within ourselves allows our mind, our wounds, and our illusion to consume us. I have learned not to take things personally in the walk of life, but also have had the humility to allow myself to become more self aware, At times I do have the occasional learning disability....some experiences are on repeat! There is nothing like the R's: Reflect, Renew, Reclaim, Rejoice, Release....These words have always brought me to a grounded peaceful place as they continue to teach me how the cycles of life are alive within me and that nature auto corrects and makes the necessary changes to evolve and survive. As a energy medicine practitioner, our energy centers "chakras" and energy channels "meridians" serve as communication from our bodies to our mental awareness. When we are ready to confront things mentally the energy that has been trapped and stagnant will create movement and transformation occurs. Energy follows thought  and our bodies are wise vessels that guide our emotions and mental state. Pain, anger, sadness, dis-ease is all information that is making its way from our subconscious to our current conciseness. When we are not ready, the energy will continue to be in excess or deplete itself within your body, but the body as a mindful guide will continue to send us signals until we 'get it'. Our environment will also do this by the lifestyle that we live and what we choose to create around us. Awareness deepens and we are constantly in flux and change. 

"I Grieve"

~This topic is really close to my heart as I have experienced loss in many ways!  I recently read a quote that said:

"For any culture which is primarily concerned with meaning, the study of death – the only certainty that life holds for us – must be central, for an understanding of death is the key to liberation in life.”~Stanislav Grof

To understand the certainty of death is truly the key to liberation as it allows us to be more compassionate and open our hearts more! Grief, the true universal emotion that touches everyone's lives and connects us all in unseen ways. 

Experiencing loss is intertwined with all our daily interactions. Some experiences are subtle and some are grand. Loss is not limited to physical death. There are many deaths that we deal with: loss of a relationship, job, business, pets, and loss of self due to trauma or abuse. The loss of hope and loss of love are the biggest grievances that we can all relate too....loss of trust the biggest betrayal  and it seems to be something that is common now a days! 

Going back to the original quote, understanding that we ourselves will experience death with certainty let's us know that the ebbs and flows of life are cycles that continue to give birth and then die in order to expand. Nature teaches us that to evolve we need to adapt and that leads us to personal liberation to choose what meaning we give our journey. A personal gift that we all share by a golden thread with others. 

From my heart to yours!!  I Grieve....<3 

Absolution, Rebirth, Forgivness

A Reason, A Season, Or a Lifetime....

~ We have all experienced connections in our lives that have left us with lessons, breathless, and even broken open! In all of life's beautiful tapestry relationships are the vessel that allows us to grow, express, relate, and expand to greater awareness~ 

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you figure out which one it is,

you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty;

to provide you with guidance and support;

to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,

because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;

things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,

and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

✿ܓUnknown